Rik Mayall!

Hey peeps!

Finally back in London. As you already know, i was ousted out my own house this weekend. Its okay, ive calmed. Although it wasn’t a joy getting to my front door and finding it covered in urine.  I hear it rained for the party folk. WHAT.A.GUTTER. Got a load of tiiiiiiny little violins playing for them.

Since i was at home with my old bedroom still full of crap i really must sort out…. i came across this little gem…

The whole thing is longer than this but i didnt know if i was allowed to put the rest on so thought id give ya a taste! I got a call asking to interview Rik Mayall for a documentary about his character in Blackadder, when i arrived i was asked to strip down to my pants! Good job i had sexy ones on this day! *fughhhhhh* Ha! I remember the first thing he said to me when i walked in the room, “You look after yourself dont you?” Haha! Rik was extremely friendly and obviously very talented and of course he WELL dominated the room. The director, the camera man and the producer all got their orders! I did too…. With sexy glasses, without sexy glasses, holding a pen in my mouth, without a pen in my mouth! AAAAH Rik man make ya mind up! “Just the suspenders will do…….” Yes sir! The point of the interview was supposed to reflect his pervy character from Blackadder, so he was supposed to be getting interviewed by a serious journalist, but his mind wandered…. You get the rest….

Sweet and innocent.

Enjoy the rest of your day

Bouf, x

Vent-a-licious.

Im all up for fun… i just loveeee a bit of partying. But what happens when the party determines whether you can stay in your own home, and risks your safety?

The lunacy of Notting HIll carnival forces residents OUT of their homes for 3 days. I couldn’t believe this morning, my poor neighbours were moving their stuff out of their houses into vans. They’ve lived there longer than me, so apparently knew the procedure. And if you’re not even there yourself physically (if you’re planning on  staying goooooood luck not sleeping for 3 days), it’s advised to take your most precious possesions out your home.

In simple terms, you have to move house unless you’re a squatter and your only possesion is a freaking blanket!

If you havn’t been to Notting Hill before, its a very residential place. Families live there, its mostly made up of houses and little boutiques and restuarants- class-y. So on carnival, residents who already pay an arm and a leg to live there, have to either find a hotel for themselves/their stuff- pay for it themselves of course, or sleep on someone’s couch. Or in my case, take the glorious 4 hour trip back up to the North-East… along with my 4 suitcases I had to pay £5 a piece for to put in the holding department of the train. £20 British pounds, plus the £150 last minute train ticket.*Face turning blue.* I wasn’t the only one, i met two Scots waiting to board who were doing the same.

Why on earth does the council allow this to happen every year? Its barbaric. Without fail people get hurt, it costs a shed load to fix damage to the area and clean up the mess and to put the boards up around the shop windows etc. Take your bloody party somewhere else! Thats what fields are for!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’ve just aged about 10 years.

So many people around me said “renting my toilet out is the way to go.” Really? Allowing a bunch of drunk idiots to piss all over my lovely floor?? Fights to break out in my home? Its not like the police would help, cos lets face it 1) they wouldn’t be able to get there fast enough because of the hundreds of THOUSANDS of people lining the streets, and of course, i’m pretty sure legally you’re not allowed to rent your toilet out???

This was my favourite one…”Put a sign saying number ones only” one friend kindly suggested. How in gods name do you stop someone performing a number two? Please, do tell me, i’m intrigued. Then there’s the issue of toilet paper, if my bog gets blocked? “Just a quick call to ‘Dynarod will do the trick,” again… 900,000 people are partying in my front garden???

Oh then there’s the “jerk chicken” crap thats sold on every corner encouraging party goers to need a number two at short notice. Next stop, Boufhal’s house?

Lady sitting next to me on the train just agreed… no i dont know who she is, and yes she has read this over my shoulder. Ahhh sweet privacy, i miss you.

I went to Carnival last year, not my thing. Starts off not that bad, have a bit to drink, bit of fun if you’re with decent people. But after about 9 pm, shit starts to hit the fan. People get into fights, women weeing on street corners, kids pouring vodka in their eyes (its Carnivaaaaaal thats what cool kids do!!!!), dope clouding the air, so much vomit you could fill a small (but very real) lake. The floats are horrific, the dancers frighten the life out of you, the music is either muffled or ear piercing, then mixes and creates what is referred to as a racket.

OK maybe its not that bad, but i’m angry so hush up.

There’s two hours journey time left, If this kid next to me persists in saying “Mum are we in Newcastle yet are we in Newcastle yet?” im going to have to do Vodka shots off the little trolly service.

Its also been chucking it down with rain today which topped it off nicely. British summer coming up with the goods again.

To finish, for those of you going to Carnival this year, I hope you have a really crap time, and I hope the rain continues into a monsoon.

Kind Regards

x

Scott Pilgrim!

Hey peeps,

Last night was the premiere of Scott pilgrim vs the world. I was there with my super magical Dynamo to strutt our stuff down the redder -red carpet geek chic talk.

Check out Mr D and his crazy talent… and before you ask yes he did do some magic for me, and yes it was wet your pants UNBELIEVABLE. And actually rather theraputic since ive been quite afraid of magic since i was little…!

Hush up, its the un-known!!! *shy face*

Amazing right?

The film was HILAIRIOUS, like laugh out loud funny… Michael Cera is a natural just by using his dopey facial expressions. You just wanna cuddle squeeze him til he passes out. He’s a lot cuter in real life too… even though he had some kind of drawing on his nose?!

The fans waiting behind the railings were easily the most dedicated ive seen to date at one of these events… They had all been camping out the night before, and i saw quite a few crying when they saw Michael! ….and again when he ignored them… whoops.

I definately recommend you to go see it, preferably drunk. I say this because i’d had a glass of vino before, and the craziness of the film plot was amazing, so i reckon if i’d had another 2 or 3 it would have been immense. Not encouraging anyone to drinkkkkkkkkkk i’d like to add Tiz a bad BAD habit and i dont do it. At all. Ever.

Bouffy

x

Beautiful song

5 mag launch

5

Found this little video to mark the launch of 5 magazine… im in it but dont blink too much!!!

Sunday Sun

Sunday Sun Newspaper

My favourite things this week have been…

Easily one of the funniest films ever! I sat and watched it alone (boo-frickin-hoo) eatin Ben and Jerry’s… Ahhh the joys of being single eh? Which brings me nicely onto my next favourite thing..

Thanks to this machine ,my arse is marginally smaller than it should be considering i guzzled down the weight of my own head in Phish Food.

And thanks to this lovely beast with a voice to lie down and die for, my new wake up alarm is slightly more bearable to get up every morning to use it.

An absolute GENIUS mascara which helps me to look alert (or alive whatever)…

A cool new website ive been pointed to get my box on…

Max Boxing

Oh and this new specimen… apparently hes really talented??

Gonna watch boxing now girls? Haha yeah i thought so…

The best brand on earth now has its own Golf crack… Are they taking over the world? Yes, yes they are.

Looking forward to watching all the models play a game… Boobs get in the way of a good swing though from experience, so technically not entirely a fair game?? Oh who cares, im in it for the outfit

Playboy Golf

Gnocchi, the BEST food on earth, OD’d on it in France. Attempting to make my girlfriend some tonight. Im sure she’ll need a two finger desert after. <— as in vomit cos its so disgusting. Gosh you’ve all got dirty minds.

Think i’ll finish with a lovely, very meaningful life phrase or saying if you will…

Take life with a grain of salt…..a slice of lime, and a shot of tequila.

Francy, x

Crikey, its been a while!

Hiya fam,

Its the 30th of July, which means i havnt updated this for over a month, so theres LOTS to catch you up on!

So much has happened over the last few weeks im not sure where to start, i’ll fit in as much as i can for now without boring ya!

As its the summer (urgh), its been so hot and humid in London. Ive been finding it really difficult to be comfortable especially at night! I found the best way to keep cool was to go to the gym and abuse the air con! Even the indoor shopping centres and little boutiques dont have any- RANT! London houses and apartments really should have it installed anyway because it can get unbarable! As you know, im a winter baby. Unless theres a beach, theres no point!

Its half way through the year, and if you remember my new year resolutions were to stop shopping and spending money on crap…. i think im doing well so far! I went on my first shopping spree a couple of weeks ago to find something to wear to take on holiday. Im saving me pennies for a blow out weekend in New York for my birthday. Last year it was Vegas, this year the big apple. Ahhh i love America.

Ive just came back from holiday in the South of France for a couple of weeks. I hadnt been in quite a while and had missed it a lot. I know the place pretty well, so its nice to go back to somewhere that feels like home. Had to pull the old lingo out too which was covered in cob webs, but after a few days i got back in the swing of it! Although ive been away quite a bit this year , France was my time to relax and not think about work (well try anyway!) so i spent my time on the beach from about 8am every morning til 6 pm, hence the intensely deep tan! Im literally a walking pair of teeth now. Drama’s happened while i was away so looking forward to the phone bill…

I spent many a mental night in club Palais- the only place ive known to put on a live erotica show on stage at 3am when everyone cant see straight. It kind of looks like an animal show. Bizarre! I had lots of lovely friends there at the same time as me which was mental, i partied with the coolest Yorkshire men in Cannes thats for sure!

I spent a little while in Italy too checking out the jewellry and of course chowing down on the pizza. Oh yes! Thats whats amazing about the south of France, you can literally drive to Italy in less than an hour, within that time even the weather changes across the border. Its pretty cool.

We had a few parties on the beach-  on a sun bed watching the festival of fireworks in Cannes… think this night was Switzerland’s turn, they were just incredible.

I was sad to come home…. but not thaaaat sad…. Nowhere beats England!

Before i went away i went to quite a few events, ive tried to get all the photographs together to show you but its hard to track photographers down… They’re busy people! But heres a few from Perez Hiltons private party he held at the o2 Arena. He put on a little concert of Kelis, Diana Vickers, Bass hunter, Joe McEldery and many more… Perez is actually a lovely, lovely guy! Half temped to doodle on his picture like he does with everyone… draw little hearts around his head! But i wont copy… the thought was there though

After then, it was time for a bit of 5 mag lovin… keeping deets on that hush for now! ;-D www.rioferdinand.com

Ive had some loving from the lovely Daily star…

Hopefully you will have seen the other spreads over the last few weeks because i dont have copies

The night i got back although EXHAUSTED from travelling for 3 days- (yes my flight got cancelled and it was absolute mayhem,) it was my friend and superstar DJ of the world (he’ll love that ha ha) Sam Youngs birthday… so it was time to party at Luxx- such a cool little venue, if you havnt been go check it out! He celebrated his 21st again… HA. Isnt it fun when the elderly can make jokes?

Scribbled my girlfriends face out cos she gets mad when i expose her to thousands of people. Shes no fun!

Thats it for now kids, hope you’re all well and going to enjoy the weekend.

BIG LOVE!

Bouf, x

5 Mag

THE BOXING TRUTH

Happy June the 1st!

To celebrate, England’s angels have decided to give us rain! Whoop-di-doo!

As i’ve spoken about before, im an avid fan of boxing and have been since i was a wee nipper. Earlier this year, i had features in Fighters Only magazine UK & USA bragging about my decent left hook

Since talking about it on my new favourite social networking site Twitter (kicking facebooks a** at the moment), i have been invited to be a guest on the Boxing Truth radio show. Its based over in Los Angeles, but has listeners all over the world. Its on this Sunday night 6 PM(US Cali time) and 2 AM UK time. They will be giving away signed copies of my June issue of Playboy too on the show!

Check out their website…

The Boxing Truth

Bouf, x